Desiree Nicole Moriel

1983 - 2013

Desiree Nicole Moriel obituary, 1983-2013, Anaheim, CA

BORN

1983

DIED

2013

FUNERAL HOME

Rose Hills Mortuary - Whittier

3888 Workman Mill Rd

Whittier, California

Desiree Moriel Obituary

Published by Legacy Remembers on Jul. 29, 2013.

Desiree Nicole Moriel was born on February 18, 1983 on an American military base in Bermenhaven, Germany to parents Rito and Yvette Moriel. She would be the middle child to siblings Anthony Rito (elder) and Jessica Janelle (younger).

As a young student Desiree struggled with dyslexia. To overcome this reading disability she adopted a strong work ethic and found techniques to stay at the same academic level as her peers. While some would simply accept their weaknesses she was determined to overcome these barriers. This determination and perseverance would serve her for the rest of her life.

Naturally athletic Desiree exceled at many physical activities. Unlike many girls her age, she was not only able to keep up with boys in her little league but was also selected to play on several All-Star teams. As a high-school sophomore she played Varsity softball at both Arcadia and Duarte High schools. She graduated from Arcadia High in 2001.

Desiree exceled in her professional endeavors as well, often finding herself in managerial positions. She studied child development in junior college for a time. She also worked several years for a Medical supply company which afforded her an opportunity to relocate to Oahu, Hawaii. Although the position did not materialize into what she had expected, it was at this point in her life that Desiree discovered her true passion in culinary arts. After relocating back to Southern California (much to the satisfaction of both her parents), she decided to transition into this vocation permanently. She began several small pastry/desert ventures and attended culinary school full-time. While her own projects were developing she decided to gain some outside experience in the industry by working as a chef and also as a server for an events company. Overall it was important for her to be the best at what she did, to accomplish this she aspired to know all aspects of her industry.

Desiree loved her family. She enjoyed vintage shopping with her Mother and rehabilitating used furniture. She was especially excited about recently becoming an Aunt to Jayden and was determined to be the baby's godmother. Desiree loved children, and spent much of her free time with younger cousins and at family gatherings. She was an avid sports fan, and in particular a fan of the Oakland Raiders. She loved watching football games, and even forced her dog Maddy to wear a Raider jersey.

A beautiful woman, Desiree was no stranger to being loved. Her infectious spirit seemed to attract everyone to her, friends and family alike. Desiree is survived by her parents and siblings, maternal grandparents, aunts & uncles, 1st cousins, 2nd cousins and her little angel Maddy.

Desiree's services will be held at Rose Hills Memorial Park on August 4th and 5th.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

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for Desiree Moriel

Sponsored by Her Mother -Yvette Aguirre.

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Not sure what to say?

July 31, 2019

Friend

Charles Hosterman

I saw so much that reminded me of you today! Thank you! 143

May 25, 2019

Friend

Charles Hosterman

143

April 22, 2019

Dad

Heard something
Losing someone is the hardest thing youll ever have to do, but somehow you learn to live with it and itll be the first thing on your mind everyday until its the second thing
It seems impossible, I dont know how i make it without you but I felt something when I heard these 2 things.
I know your amazed with your sister and her babies, pls watch over us all, missing you everyday.

December 31, 2018

dad

hi babe,
Miss you everyday, nothing is the same, i know you are so proud of your sister, your brother is doing great too, everyone miss' you so much.

December 30, 2018

Friend

Charles Hosterman

143

October 31, 2018

Yvette Aguirre

Hi baby Girl,
Today is on of your favorite holidays , I miss you so much !

I have written in a while, no specific reason but you are always on my mind and heart
I love you Desi

October 12, 2018

Friend

Charles Hosterman

I had A dream of you last night. So beautiful! 143

April 8, 2018

Friend

Charles Hosterman

143

January 21, 2018

Yvette Ruiz

My dearest daughter
I'm here at church sitting here today thinking how much I enjoyed when we would come together I can explain how much I miss you ! I am so empty just to see that beautiful smile
I love you baby

August 28, 2017

Yvette Mom

Hi Mija,

It's been a while since my last entry, I've missed writing you. I thought that maybe I would feel better that I wasn't continuing to leave a little of me here. I miss you Desi! so much at times I feel this tragedy just happened. I visit you every week, only wish I could just hear you talk back! lol! I appreciate those moments that I say OK DES, when I know its a sign from you! You will always be a part of my life while your in haven, I will never stop thinking of how much I miss you on a daily basis.
I spoke with Charles a few weeks ago, it was nice, he is also in pain as I am sure you know why!
I miss us driving around, going to GW or just talking and texting everyday!
I will never understand why this has happened and why my life and everyone that Loves you is without you.

I love you!

April 20, 2017

Rito

DESIREE!!!
I use this place to leave a little printed message but i feel so robbed, because you know if you were physically here any communication with you would be fun and exciting, you always had something going on, tackling a new situation, someone close to you was in training, we all trusted you to help us, your funny, kind way to be helpful, and being a great example, thank you for still being in my heart, showing me the way, i still trust your guidance, and i affirm that you are here everyday.
I miss you everyday, love dad.

April 19, 2017

Charles Hosterman

143

September 19, 2016

Charles Hosterman

143

September 12, 2016

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

It's been a minute since my last entry. Not much is new, trying to live as best as possible. The case pending is over in regards to your death, although the decision really has not changed my sadness, ir amazies me how peoples actions. I miss you MIJA and I am very sad daily missing the relationship we had. You were one of a kind the most wonderful spirit, I have ever known. Thank you for blessing me for thirty years. I love you!!

July 26, 2016

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Nick,

Three long devasting years have passed,since your presence has gone from earth. As I sit here trying to compose my words, I find my self stuck, sadden that this truly is all I have.
I miss you more and more everyday. Pretending that is just a bad time in my life and that this two will pass. I can say I used to pray for peace with no results then I heard something at church that kind of snapped. I am buitter and hurt and upset all in one but never palced it on gods shoulder to help me I am still trying to control my situations. It apparently not working, i need to believe in something right now, cause faith is really leaving the room. But I faith thAT JUSTICE WILL PREVIAL. That the LORD will see me through this he has always been there I just never called on hime or beleived that he was there. I am not afraid I will trust in GOD AS HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE ME. aND WITH THAT i RELY ON HIME TO SEE ME THROUH THIS PAIN!!

I love you Desiree :)

July 19, 2016

Charles Hosterman

143

June 3, 2016

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

I miss you and think about you every day. I try to get through my days without feeling so horribly heart broken. I dont know what I would do without you brother and sissy especialy Jayden. She brings me such happiness. I am sure you watch over her she says that she talks to her Auntie I don't know if she just says that. When I show her your picture she says that's my auntie, my friend I always start to cry. I tell her to tell you I love you and Miss you and she say OK NANA and kisses me. I hear from Karen and Ana ocassionaly it's nice to feel that you missed. I love you so much, every so often I add more pictures to my gallery at home, you will always be with me.

May 12, 2016

dad

hello des,
im missing you all the time, everything about you, i feel bad for others around me that see me crying, they understand i fall into times of sadness out of nowhere, even if i found the exact answer as to why i still wouldn't get it, i love you baby, i miss all of "you"

May 4, 2016

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Nick,
It's been a minute since i was here, expressing my thoughts.
I miss you MIJA, so much words do not reflect. Another Mother's day is almost here my third withoutyou!! I have to play videos, to hear your laugh your crazy noises you made, because I miss them.
I visit you every week hoping for some type of breakthrough but of sorts, unfortunately there not one. I see families that are having services for their loved one and my heart hurts for them to know that the pain never goes away you just learn to live with it. I will always love I will always miss you and always for lost until the day we are together again. I love baby!

March 21, 2016

charles hosterman

143

February 18, 2016

Yvette Aguirre

Happy Birthday MIja,
I can't believe this is the third B-day you have had since you left. Life becomes difficult for me, around this time, I miss you so much! I think of you every day. Do you age in Haven? Your 33 today, your brother and I will visit you today.
Yesterday we talked for a few hours about you, I cant tell you how missed you are. I can only think about how much I miss you and how happy I will be to see you again! There a quote that I think about aqlmost every day " your wings were ready to leave but my heart was not. That is not so far from the truth, I am not ready for this! but there is no other choice. I love you baby and Miss you so much! Happy Happy Birthday! XOXO

February 18, 2016

charles hosterman

143

February 6, 2016

Yesterday I was driving and literally sobbing in my car. I am at a crossroads in my life and feel lost. I was asking for a sign from God to tell me if I was making the right decision and as
I wiped my eyes an Owens & Minor truck drove past me. Please continue to be my gaurdian angel, I feel so sad to not have you with me here but I know your watching out for me in heaven.
I love you too much,
Chaela

February 3, 2016

YVette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

It's been a while, trying to get things straight kinda hard. I have thought about all day today no really a change from my everyday function except that I can't stop crying. Your birthdays soon, getting things reedy for your gravesite.
I miss you so much and never get easier. I see that Charles wrote you how sweet, I can remember the day you found out he was in an accident how you cried for him and now he's leaving messages. WOW things have a way of changing... Will things get better will my heart MEND ? It doesn't feel like it. I hate being here without you , it shouldn't be! I love you Baby girl.

December 20, 2015

charles hosterman

143

December 3, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

I love you

November 23, 2015

dad

Desiree,
Every beautiful thing i see reminds me of you, i try to do things with your spirit(passion) and it helps me to finish, i remember the things you said to me and your fervor to tackle a task, like couponing (amazing)you nailed it big time, after your death a pastor spoke to us and i didnt like the begining of what he was saying, I now know that there is truth to it, he said the pain would get worse through the years, well its become a constant pain, instateneous change of my mood, as it does for every parent, no doubt.
You made a big difference in my life. I liked to do things in a way that would impress you, that would make you smile, make you react somehow, by the way you would laugh, thank you for loving me.

November 21, 2015

143

October 16, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby girl
I miss you SOOOO MUCH, my heart aches!!!
See you at the garden.

October 2, 2015

Desiree, i woke up today and immediately began to cry, because i cant touch you, ill be missing you today on my birthday, i know you love me and wish me Happy Birthday, there are so many signs of you around me i love that i see them and at the same time i miss you and of course wonder WTh, your my angel babe, thank you for always being around me.
love you sweetie,
Dad

September 30, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

The Moment that you left me. My heart was split in two. One side was filed with memories;the other side died with YOU. I often lay awake at night when the world is fast asleep; I continue to take a walk through my own memory lane with tears streaming down my checks...
Remembering you is easy, I do it everyday. But missing you is a heartache that never does go away. I hold you oh so tight my precious girl within my heart and dreams and you will always remain there. Life goes on without you but my life will never be the same. I never know how long this despiar in my heart will last, I am sure for my whole life!!
I will always love you MIJA

August 28, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

It's been a few weeks since I placed my thoughts here. I first will begin today's writting with I MISS YOU! I LOVE YOU to the end of my life. I am to take a trip next week and I know you will be with me. I continue to feel lost with out you. Lawerence is getting married soon, this will be the first wedding without you. I will look for you in your presence of happiness for that day. Grangma's staying with us, I know you would have enjoyed her.
I need you sign Mija.

I love you

August 28, 2015

Mom Aguirre

Posted by Mom Aguirre

August 28, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Posted by Yvette Aguirre

August 26, 2015

Kelsey S

Des. You've been on my mind for a few days now . I still can't believe your gone. Your mom and so many people miss your beautiful smile and crazy personality(; I still remember the time in Vegas . You bought me that huge drink.. I had such a great time. Miss you so much . Wish I could share so many experiences with you now that I'm living in California. Love and miss you always .

July 30, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hey Baby,
2 years and 2 days, I guess I was really hoping that I would be able to wake up from this terrible nightmare. I was enlightened a few days on events of your death , which hasn't really help me. I truly don't know what is going to help me. I ve been told that I need an emotional death, funny I thought that's is what's going with me. Which leads me to believe there is more to this emotional roller coaster? You have always been such a special Woman, not only because you are my daughter and that I loved and love you so much but you truly are a hero you died unfair death. And there is no one that I will ever know that I can say deserves such a horrible death.
I wish it was me Des. You never deserved to leave this earth you were still needed here.
I LOVE YOU

I hope to see you in my DREAMS

July 28, 2015

2 years without you is terrible, yesterday all i could think about was me and how bad it is for me, but i realized how much pain you went thru and im sorry for that, your missed everyday sweetie, life isn't living without you.

July 27, 2015

charles hosterman

Missing you every day!143

July 14, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Nick,

Missing you like crazy !! Your always on my mind. Your brothers birthday was this weekend didn't turn out as we planned but crazy enough we were able to have a good talk the next day. We miss you so much Nick. XOXO
You know as each month goes by it gets harder for me. But I am sure you know this I oray for wisdom Des, I pray for understanding. Everyone mentioned how proud there were of me this weekend , nothing to be proud of I'm just tried....when will I be with you . I miss having you home I miss my daughter. I had a long talk with Oscar at the Garden it was nice. He loves you Nick and I am happy you were able to experience true love, but sometimes things don't turn out the way they should. I was wondering if you have seen my Grandma, she's beautiful I bet and oh man Grandma Olga I am glad that they are with you. Grandma said you visited him and you were there with other siblings, could this be true. I can hardly wait to meet them. Things are rough out here but in a different way, but I'm sure you know that too. Keep me in your presence Desi.

I love you

Mom

June 23, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

I miss you so much, I'm so angry! I want you to come home! But you're not, I talk about to you to everyone as if you were still here. I don't know how to get pass this!!! Bitterness, sadness all of it. How do you let go without destroying yourself. I'm trying to work on this, but not doing a good job. Will God really judge the people that our responsible for the destruction and what's left of our lives. I need to have faith, and truly I want to have it but I guess I feel BROKEN.
I need you NICK just to see and hear you. So overwhelming , I have such blessings yet still so destroyed. Its a little short of two years, since you left. I'm getting ready to tell our family circle that I am leaving and I am so sad, I will probably never be happy again! Except when i see that little girl she brightens up my heart. Watch over your sister and brother, they need you!

Anthony is alone and it breaks my heart and I know and remember you saying that it will be ok, but will it. I Love you Nick and I would give anything just to be near you.

I LOVE YOU

June 16, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

Another day, I miss you little girl, so much. I remember back of the little shy girl, always telling me secrets. I will never know anyone like you in my life. I AM SO THANKFULL YOU, but again so sad...TWO years without hearing that Laugh that amazing smile. Just all of you baby. My heart aches Des, will it ever get better. One can only be hopeful. This I do know I will never stop MISSING you, I will never stop LOVING you till the last day on this earth. I LOVE YOU TO THE HAVENS AND BACK!!

June 10, 2015

Yvette Aguirrw

Good Morning Nick,
Over 100 entries from me to you for the last 23 months.Never seems to get better, I will never stop loving you, never stop thinging about you! You room is back togetter it was nice seeing you back there again. THe last few days have been tough, not sure why. I know that we are here Mija, it just hurts. I can't seem to be asfocused I want to be.. I Love you baby!

May 26, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

MISS you so, well another change LOL
I have so many thoughts of us, so many memories that bring smiles to my face as well as tears. Nick I hope that you are well, I hope that you are happy in Haven and I hope that you are waiting for me! I feel selfish as I only think about what I feel and how angry and hurt I am. i never wanted you to leave I never would have imagined that this could happen. I have ACEPTED THE POSITION AWAY FROM California I NEED A NEW START, I just don't know how to tell your brother and sister. I will miss them but maybe they can visit or I will. I'm waiting for the court to be completed and then I am off to start a new journey. My sister will take care of my mom and I will only be a call away. I have tried to work this out here and it's not working! I see people's life's moving on and I am happy for them! But I am so stuck in this hole. I will be selling my truck and buying a new SUV your favorite truck and will be sending the Benz and truck to the new home and the company shipping everything, like they did for you in Hawaii... My new title is SCARY as you would put it. I will look for you there as I look for you everywhere.
It's becoming difficult to write for some reason, but maybe it's all of the changes.
I am sorry for any disappointment I was as a parent, I sit sometimes wondering what could I have done to keep you here on his earth, and the simple truth is NOTHING only the LORD knows that he needed you more than me. But oh how that pain endured with that hurts. I text you phone number everyday almost every day saying I LOVE You and remember you texting be back I LOVE you too or you texting me your silly pictures, then saying you LOVE ME. OR the best was when you were mad at me you used to write NOT RIGHT NOW!
I am so thankful that the LORD gave me you and thankful that you were in my life.
I love you Babygirl

May 6, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Posted by Yvette Aguirre

May 6, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hello My Girl,

You feel so far away Baby, every song I hear about love or hurt drops me to my knees. I am so beat up baby. I realize that losing a child is the most devastating tragedy that could happen to a parent but those words don't even touch the feeling. One day I hope that I will stop MISSING you because that means were together. MIJA, I miss you so much, I just want to be next to you and make sure your OK and I want to take care of you. How is a relationship even possible after this, I can never LOVE again!! Hard to let anyone in, but really there's a part of me that feels that I should never feel happiness again as odd as that sounds. Your brother has a connection to what I feel and makes me feel like I am not losing my mind. But other than that I really don't feel that I can share this pain. I thank God for Jayden, she helps me get through rough days, she will me moving soon which will be another difficult time in my life but I guess if I have to except that my daughter is no longer here than I can get through it.
I see the pictures and comments people make in their lives and relationships and I think WOW did my DAUGHTER die and NO one's world has stopped!!BUT MINE!!
I will never stop love you

April 30, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

I miss you Nick

April 18, 2015

Charles hosterman

143

April 16, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

Your brother is leaving on vacation, to Fuji and Australia please be with him and keep him safe. I have been busy with work; haven't had much time to settle in. But as always thinking of you and sad at the same time. Grandma's birthday was yesterday! the second one that you have missed. It's amazing how time fly's by but yet, it feels like were in a fog. Joe's Grandma just passed, very sad. I hope and pray for peace for our family and everyone connected.
I miss you baby and love you very much.

MoM

April 7, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hey Baby,

I have missed writing you the last few weeks. I miss you Nick, I think of you every day...I just got home from visiting Hawaii with the boys. We talked about you every day especially on our hikes. You would have been proud of me walking the miles climbing the rocks to the waterfalls. Nothing not even a beautiful trip like that is even closely be the same without you here. There was a white butterfly that followed us to each fall this week, which we assume was you :)

I missed the Garden this week, but Auntie Pam and Anthony were there for me. I often pray for you as it is said to pray for you daily, I try not to make my petitions about me, but it's hard when I miss you so MUCH.
Your ceremony in Hawaii was so touching.
Some days I still can't believe you're not here, as weird as this sounds, I look at your pictures and I can still hear your voice, you talking to me. I will never forget you! Sometimes it surreal. I can truly say I will ever stop missing you.
Anthony is so right, that Jayden is missing out on the best Auntie ever. But we will tell her all about you every moment we can.
I love Mija see you this week at the Garden.

Love MoM

March 19, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Baby,

It has been almost 21 months since you have been gone. My heart aches baby, I so miss you, so much. I am taking a trip soon and I want to take the time to really make some decisions. Maybe I will see you there! The boys are excited! Your friends there, will be sharing an evening with us and we are going to have a ceremony there for your life. I reached out to them to let them know I was coming and they arranged everything. I am sure it will be beautiful. I love you baby, today I will keep it short, feeling so broken.

I Love you Nick !

MoM

March 11, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

It's been a few days since I last wrote to you, it's been kinda crazy. As always it's hard to live without you! To see you, to hear that funny laugh, I miss seeing you with your baseball caps on and your gym shorts . Or watching you get ready to go somewhere and you coming into my room to give me a kiss Good Bye. I love you and miss you so much my daughter ,its painful. At times I try to be as brave as I can, but inside its deep deep pain...
The world is changing and fast and scary, but I am sure you know that.

I ask and pray that the LORD, bless me with a vision again or just to see you..It's so difficult, I wish I could explain losing you and knowing that I will never see or hug you again. I find it so hard to accept, I don't think that I can , I find myself saying to myself that I can, but my heart is so torn to pieces. Why not me NICK! Why leave me here? , without you, I feel that your were more needed here than me, Your brother needs you! Your sister and your Dad.
I make every effort to spend time with Anthony and Jess. As you used to say that he was my baby and you were my favorite. But you are all my fav's, just in different ways. I wish to God that this never happened and I would give my life to change it, but that is not a choice I have.
I am speaking at a woman's group in a few weeks for mothers who have lost their child, I will speak from my heart and hope that I can speak without crying that I will help a Mother or family member as so many people have helped me. I love Nick!
XoXO

To the moon and back!!


MoM

March 4, 2015

Friend

I`ll lend you for a little time, a child of mine, He said.
For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he is dead.

It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He`ll bring his charms to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief,
You`ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I`ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life`s lanes, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say, Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we`ll run.

We`ll shelter him with tenderness, we`ll love him while we may;
And for the happiness we`ve known, will ever grateful stay.

But shall the angels call for him much sooner than we planned,
We`ll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.

February 27, 2015

19 months, every step is different high and low and lower and high, it's such a challenging way to live, I'm reminded each time I say the baby age, when I'm with her, I wish you were here, to give her that desiree love, you two are infectious, I'm thankful that your sister spent her mornings, after school, and evening with you, I know your so proud of jess and her efforts, it's amazing to see and I know you do see, cause we see you, I love you and miss you so much,

February 26, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Love,

Well, the week is almost over, how this is still so unbelievable. I miss you Nick so much! Each day that passes seems like a fog, I know that you have died, yet it feels so raw. I have been told that there are several levels of mourning, it's no joke. I go through different emotions on a moment to moment basis. I truly know that you are near, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
I will see you at the garden at the end of this week. Actually I see you everywhere!

Love you MOM

February 18, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Happy Birthday Nick,
Today is about you! Remembering Rae Rae
Remembering the little shy girl singing with the guitar, about the blue swede shoes! Watching you play ball through your teens and adulthood.
The girl that never let being a female hold her back from working on her cars. (MY LITTLE MECHANIC)A young woman that gave her love and monitored her younger cousins in her life. You were unstoppable! We spoke almost every day of your life, even when you lived afar..You taught me about unconditional love!When things got tough, you would remind me of how I molded you and that you were in my image, that you persevered in life because of my example. And I thank you for such compliments, but really baby you were your own WOMAN and you were very special to say the least and I only had a small portion of the woman you became. I am so honored to have had you as part of my life. Your life will live on forever Nick! You will never be forgotten. I continue to strive for peace with you death, I may not find it! but I am confident that I will never stop searching...
Happy Birthday Baby

I loved you from the day you entered my life and will love you till the day my life ends.

MOM

February 16, 2015

Daddy oh

Missing you babe, I never appriciate going to the garden or getting flowers, to this day it bewilders me that there for "your" headstone, I now know what mad and sad at the same time is, so red hot with a tear rolling down my cheek, I don't like it.
I have wooden chimes in the back, I've heard since you left and like right now while I'm crying, your talking to me through them, I really just want to demand that you come home, and that I finally wake up from this terrible nightmare. I've heard many kind words, seen the movies, but this agonizing pain cannot be felt through literature and film, it definitely a glimse, but not close to the depth's that this has brought my inner being, you continue to love me, I do know that and feel that, I will always search again and again for your presence whatever I'm doing, if you can guide me away from harms please do, help to be a good man to those I love and the people around me.

February 13, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Happy Valentines MIja,

As I, sit hear writing tearful as always. I think about how much I wish I could say to you! Without continuing to feel such heartache. My heart will be forever broken! Well Rae Rae your birthday is in 5 days, the big 32. Wow your catching up to me, and all I can think about right now is how much I miss you baby...How this weekend at the Garden will be a rough one, but it's not like it is ever easy! I see people drinking, laughing and enjoying themselves with their lost ones at the Garden and all I want to do is throw myself on the grass and kick and scream.
I wish I was just being dramatic but the truth is! There is nothing about this feeling that is far from the truth.
You know, Uncle David sang "There is no sunshine when she is gone" at your funeral. Crazy but I hear this song all the time recently and I know it's you, atleast that's what I tell myself. I am very selfish Nick, a song is not enough! but I guess that is all I will have! And I will have to learn, to live with this too.

The court case is still pending and I feel struck, but really when it's over will I feel better? NO! My life will never be the same!!!

The home front is holding on.. what's left of it, your brother is my backbone NOW, just as you were. When I hear him talk about you telling me stories and I finding us doing the remember whens: I start to envisioned you guys talking crap about me then you both you start busting up! Remembering thsoe smiles on both of your faces. I would give anything to have a moment with you guys again.
The other day me and Jess were talking about you, it was wonderful, although your sister was emotional it was from her heart and I know it was painful for her , but it was beautiful.. I remember, when I used to wash dishes the three of us would be laughing because you guys would (TRY) to pants me!! SICKOS. And I would try to get you guys back running around the house and then you guys would try to tag team me. I am so grateful to have had those memories; no one can't take that from my heart. That's why if I have learned anything, NOTHING is forever! and that you never know when it will be your last breath or that you can lose a loved one in a split second `night!. That's why I need to get every moment I can with my Son and Daughter that are here, and of course my Jadie bug too. And continue to make memories!
I was under the impression when you first left us that our family was going to get closer the four of us that were left , create a different circle, but then the first dream you gave me told me different . And that it was OK that I have a new path, but I feel I have lost my way!
I hope that I will join you before anyone else leaves me.

There were so many good times that I hope I never stop remembering, it seems so long ago since I kissed my little freckle face you hugged you.
I love you, my beautiful daughter :)
You will always be my Valentime, till I see you in Heaven.

Love MOM
To the Moon And Back

February 6, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Good Day My Beautiful Daughter,

I was listening to the music while working, and I heard Teena Maire and thought of you, I remember how you used to say that's my MOM's JAMS. LOL
And in listening to your IPOD, she was your JAMS too, (lol) my funny little girl :( I miss you NICK, you completed me and now I feel so all alone.
12 days to you birthday, man 32 years ago I was about to give birth to my first daughter my ray of sun shine my WORLD! How does this happen? I will never stop searching for you NICK, I will never be the same to were together. I Love you Nick!!!
Thank you for entering my heart again today. I LOVE YOU

MOM XOXOX

February 3, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

It's 16 days before your 32nd birthday, how time flys by. I wish you were home Baby.. I decided to go to Hawaii with the boys. We're going to visit all your spots relax for a minute, I know you will be there with us. The boys are excited, and I know you would have wanted be to take them. You would be so proud of them, there growing up to fine men.( handsome too)

I miss you Nick!!! Your brother and sister miss you too..I pray that you watch over Grandma, I feel something is not right. Maybe....things will get better.
Well, Baby I am going back to work I will see you soon!

I love you

MoM

January 28, 2015

Yvette Agiurre

I Love you



Mom

January 27, 2015

Chaela Roshetar

Grief feels like a rogue wave in calm water. You can be floating about your day and then be knocked down, tumbled, and left breathless. These waves still come at my daily and I am left drowning in sadness. I can get back up though and I know for sure it's because she's looking down on me rooting for my success and happiness.
I love you Des and try to be the best me I can and the days I can't do it for me I do it for you.

January 23, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Nick,
I 'm sitting at my desk, working reviewing a case and you come straight in my mind, heart and I began to feel emotional. Not sure what the deal is lately, before I could work and get through it! The work would keep my mind occupied, till the ride home and now it's not working anymore. I miss you MIJA !!

See you this weekend at the Garden
Love You

January 22, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi MIja,

My week is almost over , thinking of you. The girls from CNA called to let me know that Caren's son is sick again, the cancer's back aggressivly.
I sent her a text to let her know that I am praying for her. I feel so sad for her, no parent should lose thier child..Not to say that he is dying but his a little boy... If you can check in on him, maybe the LORD can spare his mommy, the pain. The song just came on Gone, Gone , Gone...I too will love you like the beat of the drum!!! I will never stop loving you or forget you no matter what till the day I join you!!! IT has been said sometimes when someone fills the void of a loss with some one or something it only makes things worse..I guess one could say it's may be like not focusing on yourself?
I am greatful for the growth you have given me, yet I feel so lost at times. Your brother and I share our feelings, its hard. I can't with Jess , I try but I feel I burden her with my pain, when I know she is still not dealng.
Thank God for your brother he is all that's left that really feels and gets me.
Your friends called me to see how things are, thinking of having a BAR'b que for your birthday, will see.
I love is NICK forever and Ever.

MoM

January 19, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

I had the most wonderful dream because you were there as you know, I am sorry for crying… But you know I just can't Nick, live without you. That smile you gave me was so unreal. I loved our conversation, everyone says when they have seen you they were unable ask you things but you and I were able to talk. I was blown away, I couldn't go back to sleep.. I wrote down the dream for reference. I can't get your smile out of my mind, how in peace you are!. The hug we gave each other I am so sorry that I continued to cry. It's not fair Nick!!
I am replaying you visit over and over today. I am glad that you are at peace, I will try to not to be so consumed with your death but it's not easy.
You are my HERO, never afraid to go for what you wanted yet so gentle in your heart that this who were loved by you will never forget you there DES in which ever way they were loved by you. I love you BABY always till all eternity.

LOve you
Mom

January 12, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Nick,

Monday, another week. Wishing for a better week! It was funny this weekend did some work on the house and I knew you would have been proud. I am going to add pictures to this site to bring more of you to this book.
I know I am mostly the one who visits but that's OK ! But when someone drops by, they will have smile on thier face remembering that smile. I miss you SOOOOOOOOO MUCH baby. Most the time when I write you, I cry before I even complete my writing. Not that I want to! But it's not fair, NICK I have to write messages that you don't read. Really, this is my only way to keep talking to you. This family is broken Mija....I feel like giving up too. Too much...too much pain for me!! Will see how things go. Funny when I read entries I smile to hear your friends write how you impacted there life's...

I look for you always in others, really doesn't work, I try to hope that you are here somehow in sprit. I guess,! but to be honest that too is short lived for me. I always used to hear that people die of broken hearts and I used to think what an exaggeration but it's not! A broken heart is so real.

I love you~ I love you to the Moon and Back

MOM

January 9, 2015

Desidad

Mija,
I miss you so much, your always in my heart, when I'm alone you always come to be with me thank you, it's said that your in a better place, that place will be ok when I'm there too but right now I don't see it, you are the glue that held things together, I see your face all the time, I did a drive by of the New Years parade, you know what happen, we got hit with tortillas and marshmallows, they threw them at me like we did when we were out there. Gotta go
Missing you babe

January 7, 2015

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,
The week is beginning and I am missing you much. I find things hard to deal with lately (OK always). I see that your friend Dave T. viewed this book, I would like to talk to you, please contact me if possible. At [email protected].
Mija the days continue to pass and as I every day passes I can't still get it!!
I will never see you again, HOW can this be. They say that this type of loss takes a while to take effect in ones life, well I am still trying to understand WHY. I love you NICK and pray that I can deal with this because my days lately are very hard for me. I love you baby, to the moon and back.

January 4, 2015

Dave T

God bless you Des. May God give your family strength. You taught me a lot about myself, you are in my heart forever.

December 30, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Mija,
Tuesday, missing you as always. Well it's New year's eve's (eve) Speechless today. Things are the same, I hope that this will be a positive year Nick. I can only hope! (right)
Well Christmas is over, which is okay by me. Jayden is getting so big Mija, you would have had so much fun, it's nice seeing your brother with her. But he seems to get so sad when he things of how she is missing out on such a wonderful Aunt. I agree....because I know I am missing out on such a wonderful woman, friend and a piece of me that is lost forever or until we meet again. I wish things were back to when you were little girl, although things were tough. Just that little face telling me, were going to be ok right Mom, and then you saying cause were the fantastic four.(ha ha, you would laugh)(We can't be stopped!)
I need you Mija, you were fearless!! So unafraid of life and what life brings and I have always been scared, scared something would happen to you kids, and it did and now I am forever wounded and I wish I had your fearless quality.
Karen checked in with me she was a true friend Mija, it feels good to know that she truly cared about you. I love you Nick.
MOM

December 23, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

DESIREE~NICOLE~MORIEL~

She is clothed with the strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions and her love for others.

She now is sharing her gifts in the highest KINGDOM!

My DAUGHTER DESI~MY NICK- MY STRENGTH

I hope for my faith to heal me of a broken HEART

Love you ~MoM

December 23, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

My Dearest Baby girl,

Two days before Christmas and I was thinking of you and how much I miss you. Again another year of spending ,what is supposed to be a day of family and giving. For me it's just not the same without you. I can remember the last Christmas, we were living in Brea, we laughed together preparing to go to Auntie Pam's. I miss you and just being near you, talking to you about anything! Just being besties. Laughing about the gifts you were going to return you NAUGHTY girl. And now.... I have now moved to bugging your brother, like I bugged you..He is such a Good boy to me Nick, I know why you Loved the heck out of him. I always remembered you saying what a good Father he will make based on what he felt he lacked. You know that even today I see such growth in this man ( your brother) he helps me everyday deal with my sorrow, my pain of the loss for you!
But again, you know how critical he can be too (lol) He is always there for me! You know there was an incident at Rito's B-day and your brother was just as comforting as you would have been, OK, he was probably more level headed then you..You would have been more of the violent type talker.
Those type of moments, I need you! I feel so all alone without having you there to be my backbone, but I guess , I am being forced to deal with this alone! But actually you were always there . And I am never alone right Nick, I want to believe that Mija, truly I want to! It's just so hard for me.
And your sister..She to is changing I see her growing up and that makes me happy and proud, she is a great Mommie too. I love them so much but feel so bad because I can't let go of my sadness and I am trying not to hurt them but I miss you so much, A part of me has died too. As a parent, I feel so torn, so defeated that I can't change this horrible tragedy. I can only depend on GOD Nick, that's all I have. Until the day we are joined again MIJA I will have no peace, until I am able to put my arms around you and never let you go, I will miss and love you forever .
Merry Christmas Baby
I love you Nick

Mom~Slim

December 18, 2014

ritooooo

desireeeeee,
i misss playing around with you, you could always keep up, i always looked forward to your coming, good times were around the corner, pretty much everyone felt that way about you, you definetly are a bright light, your sister and i were talking about how this could be from one day to the next and everything changed, we were out there by the location on the 57, i had to stop, usually if i go by that spot i begin to cry, i struggle going forward, i try to do what ever is in front of me, nothing fills the spot that is you except thoughts of us together with everyone having fun, new years parade, camping, snow boarding, boating, hiking, your up for all of it.
Merry Christmas babe, love you

December 16, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,
Today I write you, with complete Sadness
I need the faith of mine to rejuvenate, I'm falling. My heart aches Nick, how do I ever recover?
Christmas is next week, I hope that you are with us, life will never be the same. How does this work?, this roller coaster I want off !! I miss you Baby, everything we had every laugh, every smile, even our disagreements I miss that. Your Laugh, you calling Mattie SWEEETTIEEE the way you did. Sometimes I feel I can't even write here it's to hurtful, easier to MASK it. My beautiful daughter WHY didn't I go with you, that night maybe I could have saved you. I am sorry and now I suffer with regret of not having you here not saving my dauther from harm. I feel like I can't let go. To much pain for me. I pray for understanding, for forgiveness and peace, and hope for a softer New Year coming. I love you MIja
To the Moon and Back !!

December 8, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby,

Beginning of the week, weekend has past. I wish that each entry, I could expect a response..I miss you Nick! My Heart is so broken. It's amazing how your brother and sister just flow with me because I break out crying out of nowhere, I feel bad that you're not here!! Our circle is broken.
Christmas is 17 days away, amazing how this year has gone by, it's been 568 days since you left, it seems like FOREVER.
Your brother seems to feel that where you (Haven), there is only Happiness.
I hope that this is true.
I guess the unknown is scary for me.
I love you Mija and will never let your life my love for you end.

Mom

December 2, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Thanksgiving has passed; I can say Holidays will never be the same without you. I visited the Garden twice this weekend which was nice.
I wanted to express, how Thankful I am, for having you in my life, although a short thirty years. I know that I cannot control when the LORD feels the need to take you and other loved ones. Needless to say the time I had with you was to short, I didn't even say Good Bye, I wasn't given the chance to express how much I love you and that I will never stop LOVING you Nick. There's not a moment that goes by that I don't think of you. I am honored that you loved me and that I have such wonderful memories of you.
SOMETIMES I FEEL ALL ALONE WITHOUT YOU ALTHOUGH YOUR SISTER AND BROTHER ARE NEAR, I CANT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU WERE MY YOLK.
When will I see you agian I often wonder, sometimes to MUCH.
I love you NICK!!!

Mom

November 25, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi There Nick,

I miss you, so so much! Well thanksgiving is here. It's not the same without you Nick, my heart is so sad I can't express the words. Today was emotional on the way to work. I wish and hope that the sadness would just lighten up but NO !! It's very painful. As you know the services for my cousin Louie are complete, I try to be there for Marge but its tough! Tough knowing I can't make it better but also knowing there's not anything or anyone can say… Holidays will tough as they are for US!
YOU are so missed! I love you Nick.
I hope that you will be there on Thursday, I pray that I will feel you in sprit. I love you my beautiful girl!!

MoM

November 13, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hello Babygirl,
Almost Friday Yipee, one more day to this week is over. I have a busy weekend, how time flies I guess. 15 months ago I would not have imagined that I would still be writing, still here for that matter, but with the grace of GOD I am. Things are not as I would have hoped! but I guess life is the way it should be. I am sure your laughing at me, what I am thinking, with a family member out. YUP!! You missed it LOL. I love you MIJA, your brother needs you, if there is anyway..........

Services for my cousin are this week, I hope you are near...
Well Baby, I will see you at the Garden I LOVE YOU

MOM

November 11, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,
Today has been very productive, I have been thinking about you from the first moment I got up. I miss you so so much.
Thanksgiving is 16 days from now, not feeling like much of holidays. I wish I could trade places with you. It should me you writing me and me waiting...It is so sad and can't take it sometimes. So all alone without you, your sissy and Jayden went with me to visit you. Again very hard to watch your sister weep like it was that first day. Sometimes I feel like were the only one in the world going through this but that is so far from the truth.
I love you so much Baby, I only wish that things were different.
I love you Nick from my heart to Haven.

Love Slim

November 7, 2014

Yvette Ruiz

Hi Mija,

Today is my birthday; I have cried all day, knowing that you are not here today to share my day, is just unspeakable. Karen wished me a Happy Birthday and also reminded me, that this day of the year was aa big day! Today was when you had to go way out to make my day special. This was so true, you always made my birthday awesome and truly it is missed, your effort. What big shoes your brother and sister need to fill in. I love you mija...I will always....
I wish you would visit me that would be the best gift ever! as you were the day you were born.
How horrible to love you so much and try to raise you right and then one moment your GONE. Without even a reason a meaning for the pain this was caused. Life seems so empty without you.
This week, I was in your room cleaning it, I found the dvds you were making me the notes you left me I am so lucky to be your MOM.
Your father lost your favorite hat, well a friend found one just like it and he has ordered it for me how awesome is that I will cherish likeness to your hat, I am placing it by your picture. Well baby auntie Pam is going to the garden too, more often. Helping us, I am grateful for her, You would be surprised how we have grown..I am happy that things have changed. Some good changes and some not so good. That's OK. I LOVE U
I LOVE U from earth to Haven NICK!!!
Until later never GooD BYE

November 5, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Wednesday, November 05, 2014
Hi MIja,

Hump day, bored to say the least I am in a funk, Lou died yesterday morning, but you probably already know that. What...
happens I wonder this every time someone dies..How JELIOUS I am that they will get to see you and be in the presence of the almighty. I miss you NICK, it's hard being left behind.....

Well my B-Day is Friday not feeling it. WHY???? I need you here NICK.
I pray for change in this family NICK.
Well this is a heavy week to come, I need your strength Nick

Love you Baby
To the Moon and Back.

Mom

November 4, 2014

pamela salgado

Hello Desiree lou,, I miss and love you very much, I've enjoyed having lunch with you on thursday's. If I know you, your helping someone in heaven. Des meet couisn Louie at the gates, with your beatiful smile.
See you soon in my dreams.
love you always ....

Auntie Pam

October 31, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Baby Girl,
It has been a week since my last entry; I have been in San Diego on business for work, my first day back.
I miss you girl, so much.
Marge is here and we should be getting started soon. I am excited to make you proud.
Today is Halloween Baby, I know today was your favorite day. I wish you were here. Auntie Pam and I were just saying how nothing is the same without you here. I can only try to make the best of it right.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, well Mija I end this for now and talk to you soon. See you at the Garden TONIGHT.

Love MOM
TO THE MOON AND BACK

October 24, 2014

Yvette Aguiire

Missing you, it hurts! My cousin will be joining you soon, he is very ill and my heart goes out to my cousins and Aunt. I know what they are about to endure and I can't began to say enough.
It almost brings be back to my own sadness for you. I try to avoid feeling this way, but again it is painful. I wish I could make this better for them, but I can't! it is a learning process, and you really can't understand the pain, unless you have been through it. IT's a hard lesson to learn.
I am going to help your fav-your BRO with his costume tonight, Anthony was saying how, Halloween was your favorite holiday. With the exception of my birthday. LOL
I will miss you this Birthday and every other one without you.
Your sister birthday just passed we had dinner at the boiling crap, it was pleasant. Thanksgiving and Christmas are near, it will be a rough one. Your Auntie Pam and I are expanding our family to invite others. CHANGE IS GOOD right, isn't that what you used to say, get rid of it of things or peeps , that continue to bring you down !!!!. (If you dont stand for something than your worth nothing)

No way MIJA, Jayden gave me a kiss like you used to “the side kiss”. I thought of you and smiled...so much of you is still here my baby. Well I was working on your grass at your garden and with the cordless weedwracker,and got wracked and I thought of you, who would have been laughing.

With my journey of grief and the time I have had griefing, I am hoping to help Marge and my family get through this.

I love baby to the Moon and Back.

Love SLIM

October 14, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Tuesday, wishing this week was over. Things are the same, waiting for Marge to get here so we can get Crumbs off and rolling. Nick things are so distant or is it me. Your sister birthday is Friday, hopefully it will go off nice, just Dinner, it no fun anymore without you. ALTHOUGH FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN PEOPLE SEEM TO MOVE ON, I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T OR MAYBE I JUST WON'T. I am considering moving away or Am I running away? Need comfort, guidance or do I even know what I need.
I miss you Baby girl!!!
To the Moon and Back.

MoM

October 9, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Baby Girl,

It has been a crazy week, I had a small scare with your sissy, praise God she will be fine. I have had you on my mind as usual, all week! But thankfully I have been able to keep focused. I miss you so Nick. The week is about to be end and I am hoping that we are all be together this weekend, you in spirit! The boys, Jayden and lastly the MAIN MAN in our lives your Brother. This is all I need, to pass my weekend .

I know that I always express how much I wish you were here, I can't help it. The world is scary Nick! The boys are playing Football, and their wearing your birthday numbers, on their Jersey, so AWESOME. Your brother and sister miss you too. Watch over us, Des we need you sprit here. I Love you Mija

September 30, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Baby,

Well, a new week is starting and I have had a tough last few days. I miss you Nick, I can't remember when I started calling you Nick or when you started calling me chubby then SLIM..Nick names with love, RIGHT MIJA!!.
I can't imagine what life would be like, if losing you and then not having all these great memories of you, thousand of pictures, that OSCAR truly played a good part in giving us. It's important to have pictures the memories that will last forever. Without those memories that I have looked at for the last 14 months, have truly HELPED me...
Marge and I are working on continuing Crumbs to Crumbs, I will make you proud.
I know you were laughing at me this weekend when I was cutting the grass at your Garden, that weed whacker killed me, I never thought I would have to ever take care of your area but that's OK I will do anything for you. Between me and your Bro we got this. I love you NICK, so much it hurts, you know through all of this there has been so many changes, ups and downs ANGER lots of ANGER,resentment,GUILT, disappointments and sadness..
I am still here waiting for the day we meet again and I promise, get ready! I will hug you and will not let go of you, just keeping my arms around you tight waiting for for to give me your check when I am going to plant a big kiss and wacthing that little button nose with the three freckles on it, turn red. I cherish you and every moment I had with you, I am only so sorry that I did'nt have more time.

The Holidays are nearing and the anticipation of them are weighing heavy for me really don't think it's time yet for me I guess to soon..I remember how you never liked Christmas, but your reasoning for that was not your fault, I wish I knew what I know now!

I love baby, to the MOON and BACK

Love MOM/SLIM

September 18, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Mija,
Today is a new day, I have not had a chance this week to write you. I thought I would take a little sec to visit this book, to express that you are weighing heavy on my heart, and that I miss you.
I have a friend at work that recently lost her Grandmother (a month ago) and now she lost her Grandfather (today) my heart hurts for her. This person has been through many trails in her life as most people have.. and I feel so bad for her..I was able to talk and try to comfort her and staying positive although when you are greiving there is not much that really that can be said to take away the pain. I told her about you! and she cried more but she was able to see that I was strong, that although my heart has been ripped from me that I am strong standing! And only frail in Gods presence, to view. I am learning new values DES because of you! You have taught me with my love and hurt for you.

It is although, extemely hard to stay focused but I will keep looking beyond the pain and picking myself up each and everytime I fall and make things happen.

I love you my DAUGHTER....

MoM

September 12, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

I LOVE YOU BABY

MOM

September 10, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hi Mija,

Your visit with me last week surprising has impacted me more than I knew possible. I am positive that GOD was in the mist of it all. It's when you want to believe in things that are not there or although your leary or have unsure feelings about something, IT's FAITH. The meaning of FAITH is so powerful and it truly means so much.

Home front is quiet! Court next week!

Something has changed I wish I could explain it. It's almost a relief of sort. I am not sure of what through. I am already contemplating the Holidays, you know me!

Today is another Childs funeral,which I will be attending! It's has been sad all day. I know what that Mother is going through. Learning to live everyday in pain, in heartache,which never goes away!! I remember that day, as if it were 10 minutes ago!!
The difference today is I can sit down and know that TODAY I will get through it and the tomorrows will start and again, I will feel the pain and its ok. It's OK to love you from a far, it's OK to be SAD
because you are a very big part of my life. Things are changing MIJA for the better, I feel good things are about to start moving and you WILL be part of it in SPIRIT, once I get everything landed your BROTHER and SISTER will be helping me!

I think of our conversation daily that dream the other night was surreal almost as if I knew what you were saying before you said it. I promise to stay FOCUSED and get things rolling! We are about to make our mark and you will live on-- through me!!

I LOVE YOU BABY

MOM

September 4, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Thank you Nick, for coming to me in a dream. Although my vision was very emotional and sad! I take it ! THANK YOU!! I am not sure exactly sure what I am suppose to do, but I will pray for guidance. I love MIJA...


MOM

September 3, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hey Mija,

Struggling this week, maybe to much time on my hands, I miss you so much!!DES, I need you so much, I cant do this anymore. This sadness is killing me, literally. I miss you baby so much, my heart aches. I try not to do the I remember when(s)....
but I do remember your beautiful smile those impeccable dimples. The look you had when you were sick...:( your little button nose those beautiful freckles like me. ( OUR TAGS) lol.
except yours were prettier...

I love you NICK

August 27, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Baby,

I wanted to write in this Journal before I started my day. Today is Wednesday, I am hoping for a better day than yesterday! I miss you Nick..
I trying to help your bro decorate his new place..Boy he is driving me nuts...
He misses you so much I can see it all over him, it's hard when I see his sadness; I wish I could help him, but really I can't even help myself. Actually he helps me with encouraging words, I know that Anthony and you had a remarkable relationship; I wish I had a brother and sister relationship like that you both are very blessed. He once said to me that there is no other person in the world that has the same memories as him, good and bad! That no one knows him "like you". A part of him died to! That hurts as a mother to have your child hurt and know that there is really nothing you can do to fix it.

Jesse misses you too but for some odd reason she is still not dealing with your loss and that worries me, she feels that you're going to come home and we know that's not true but she really won't talk about it.

In some odd way I get that, I go into your room almost every day, I dust, I clean it thinking that you would be upset if there was dust lying around.

I love you Nick, to the Moon and Back
Love MOM

August 26, 2014

Yvette Ruiz

I love you MIJA

MOM

August 21, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hey Baby
It's been 391 days since your passing!
OMG, words do not define how my heart aches. It's very lonely without you.
I often wonder, where are you? In haven?
Do you miss me? Will you know me when I join you there? My world is so empty without you in it? Am I really never going to see you again? I think of you every minute of my day. I can't believe it's true I just can't.....I know this sounds nuts but OMG this can't be....

I look back to my writings and think I have not grown, my sorrow is great and full of rage with sadness of losing you. I try to get beyond your passing and think positive!! But really I can't! Can't move forward I'm so struck!!! I look for guidance, in therapy, meetings other mothers, articles and yet SO BROKEN..I often say to myself that there are many MOTHERS, families, who have lost their child, I never even thought about that I never cared to think about it and now that is all I think about. HOW IRONIC is that!!!

Someone recently said to me that GOD doesn't make mistakes, and I sit and wonder what that means to me? I don't understand why you are no longer here, why the LORD chose you! But I have know theres no other choice than to believe that he is in control! That he knows what he is doing and that I will need to stand still in the mist of all endure this pain and bear it for as long as need be.

I love you Nick, to the moon and back.

Love Mom

August 12, 2014

Yvette Aguirre Aguirre

I LOVE YOU MIJA
MISS YOU DES

Love,
Slim

August 11, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

I love you DES!!

August 1, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Good Morning Nick,

Friday, rough night, yesterday!!! You know I have been coming to this site ever since I purchased the Guest Book, and I thought today, to see your name there is so painful under obituaries. Yet I come here as often as I can to express how much I miss you and love you and to express how, I am barely hanging on, without you! It is now a year and five days since your passing and I can't believe that you are gone part of me just can't let go...People say you have to let go, Yvette so that DES can be at peace, HOW DO YOU DO THAT??? I keep telling myself GOD is in the mist of all...but it is still very painful and unbearable. I am sure if you viewing what is taking place, you are as amazed as I am. But if I could hear you, I know what you would be saying too. You always knew...I am sorry I wasted so much time in believing in people. Every disappointment reminds me, on how you viewed things and how you were happy in your own skin, how you kept some peeps at arms way. I remember when we used to talk after work outside, about stuff, people, family and you were adamant about situations and you would laugh at me and tell slim "NO, you're wrong.."You wear your feelings right where they can be seen and that's why you get hurt"...There's no time like the present that I need to hear you say that..Sometimes I sit and think How did that little girl know so much? How was she so savvy with everything? How did she know how to work on cars? So crafty at home? Fix anything?
You were and still are the most fascinating young woman I have ever known! And I am so proud that you are my daughter and that God honored me with such a remarkable child!
You have left me with such memories that I will never forget you or stop loving you.

Continue to watch over this family!!!
Much love baby girl

I miss you MIJA to the moon and back.

Mom your SLIM always

July 25, 2014

charles

Time is not healing the pain. There are only moments of relief when I try to stay occupied in anything and everything. With more tragedy in my family I really would love to give up everything to spend 5 more mins with you and my father. The coolest people I ever known. Everything I learned from you is being put to good use and every chance I get to speak and tell your story, I do. Every thought about you puts a smile on my face and a tear on my cheek. Not a day goes by when something reminds me of you. Your are forever in my thoughts and my spoken words! 143 x infinity

July 23, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hello Mija,
It is Wednesday, and not a minute has gone by today that I haven't thought about you. I wonder how you are!! As crazy as that sounds! I am sure that you are in the most awesome presence, of GOD. Will I ever feel your presence again?
It is almost a year since your death and I have HATED everyday!!
Things continue to change in my life, but yet my sadness never changes. Will life ever get to some type of normalcy..
I had the boys this weekend, we went school shopping you would be so proud of them! They miss you, the boys are still playing sports tey always chose you bithdate as there number one gets 2 the other 18. How awesome is that and they didnt on their own.

They met me at your Garden this weekend.

I love baby and miss you down to my soul.

Love
MOM

July 14, 2014

Yvette Aguirre

Hello Mija,

Another weekend has passed, you brothers birthday...The worst ever for him....I felt so bad yet I tried not to make a big deal and make it worst...
What to do Des, I wish I had the answers but I don't. I am so at a loss...
Nick your birth brought me a new life experience, to know that the only time on earth I would have with you would only be for 30 years. You have given me the moon and the stars in that time. The years I've had with you have been filled with laughter much laughter and tears, excitement, adventure and many fears, but it ended..WAY too early for me. The loss is so horrendous, my heartbreak is so unreal, I can't seem to get anything right...Your death will never erase the years you were here.....The memories of you are like GOLD to me, patterns that line my soul.
At time I feel so defeated, so all alone and then a song will play on the radio which brings me , back to knowing that you are still here in my heart. You death will not destroy me it defines me, because that is what you would have wanted me to do. I miss and LOVE for the rest of my LIFE NICK..

In your honor, I live for both of us, through my life, you will live to...and with us together we will get through this.
The years or however long it takes of sadness, will change to years of happiness, even joy at least I can only hope that one day, we will conquer and not let the emotions that drive me now defeat me.
You are and will always be my inspiration, I am the keeper of your light.

I LOVE BABY

MOM

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